yemen, 4hb 3

pagi2 dh bangun... lapa.
siang jap g dah nk btolak ke k.l~ huhu, ahad flight,, nk update pon tak tau dh nk tulis ape, skrg ni dh jarang sgt bukak fb n ntenet, dan jgak sbb bband takde..... T_T kat yaman pon tak tau la ade mase ke tak nk bukak, hmm.... ape2 pon harap sume bjalan lancar, pjalanan pegi n blaja n balik n slamat smuanya

gambar2

umah mak

dah nk dekat 2minggu, duk umah mak n bapak, (mertua) rasa cm btuah sgt sbb dpt mak bapak spoting giler, bes, tak rase mcm duk umah asing, sah2 laa aku ni tak reti wat keje, seb bek la takde kne wat pape sgt, bsoh2 pinggan skit2...tu je la, baju suami yg basoh, makan kdg kt kedai, mak terer masak, blaja wat roti jala... nti nk blaja mcm2 lagi, bapak pon terer masak , (katering la kate kan, mmg sedap !) pstu tgok bapak masak, bes giler, bapak suke bercerita, n suke bcakap, tp dlm setiap apa yg de ckp sumanya ada maksud n ade tujuan tsirat de nk tembak n salu tashkil org, ajak org pd allah. kuarga ni bukan kuarga yg kaya dgn harta, tp kaya dgn akhlak n sifat2 mahmudah, buat aku tak rasa asing langsung, rasa cm btuah , menantu yg misali, eh silap, bapak aku bapak misali, kali ptama aku nk basoh baju kt umah ni, ttbe je bju dh tbasohm bapak yg basohkan! malu giler.... T_T huhu. ya allah panjang kan jodoh kami.. dia salu tnye knp aku kawen gn dia, aku ckp aku tima die krn allah n sbb de ada agama. agama yg tpnting skali.... biar lah takde rantai emas ke atau gelang smpai siku, yg pnting kita bhgia dgn taat perintah allah, jga apa dia suka. n jadi org yg tak sensitif dgn dunia...  aku suka bapak aku, 'besepah tu satu seni' hoho, baju2 byk gile nk kne lipat, tp dh lipat takde tmpt nk letak, jadi gantung je tak ya lipat, nk melipat tu pon amek masa yg mana byk lagi bnde leh wat dr lipat bbakol2 baju. huhu. mcm2 laaa lagi yg bes kat umah ni, rase nk duk cni tak nk balik umah je,.

Touching story... (MARRIED GUY SPEAKING)

When I
got home that night... my wife
was serving dinner, I held her
hand and said, I’ ve got
something to tell you. She sat
down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to
open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I
want a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly. She didn’t seem to be
annoyed by my words, instead
she asked me softly, why? I
avoided her question. This made
her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me,
you are not a man! That night, we
didn’t talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to
find out what had happened to
our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer;
she had lost my heart to Jane. I
didn’t love her anymore. I just
pitied her! With a deep sense of
guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she
could own our house, our car,
and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it
into pieces. The woman who had
spent ten years of her life with me
had become a stranger. I felt sorry
for her wasted time, resources
and energy but I could not take
back what I had said for I loved
Jane so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was
what I had expected to see. To me
her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which
had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer now. The next day, I came
back home very late and found
her writing something at the
table. I didn’t have supper but
went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was
tired after an eventful day with
Jane. When I woke up, she was
still there at the table writing. I
just did not care so I turned over
and was asleep again. In the
morning she presented her
divorce conditions: she didn’t
want anything from me, but
needed a month’s notice before
the divorce. She requested that in
that one month we both struggle
to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son
had his exams in a month’s time
and she didn’t want to disrupt
him with our broken
marriage.This was agreeable to
me. But she had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room
on our wedding day. She
requested that every day for the
month’s duration I carry her out
of our bedroom to the front door
ever morning. I thought she was
going crazy. Just to make our last
days together bearable I accepted
her odd request. I told Jane about
my wife’s divorce conditions. . She
laughed loudly and thought it was
absurd. No matter what tricks she
applies, she has to face the
divorce, she said scornfully. My
wife and I hadn’t had any body
contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when
I carried her out on the first day,
we both appeared clumsy. Our
son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mommy in his arms. His
words brought me a sense of
pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the door, I
walked over ten meters with her
in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly; don’t tell our son
about the divorce. I nodded,
feeling somewhat upset. I put her
down outside the door. She went
to wait for the bus to work. I
drove alone to the office. On the
second day, both of us acted
much more easily. She leaned on
my chest. I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I realized
that I hadn’t looked at this
woman carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young any
more. There were fine wrinkles
on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on
her. For a minute I wondered
what I had done to her. On the
fourth day, when I lifted her up, I
felt a sense of intimacy returning.
This was the woman who had
given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I
realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn’t tell
Jane about this. It became easier
to carry her as the month slipped
by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger. She was
choosing what to wear one
morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a
suitable one. Then she sighed, all
my dresses have grown bigger. i
suddenly realized that she had
grown so thin, that was the
reason why I could carry her
more easily. Suddenly it hit me…
she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart.
Subconscio usly I reached out and
touched her head. Our son came
in at the moment and said, Dad, it’
s time to carry mom out. To him,
seeing his father carrying his
mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come
closer and hugged him tightly. I
turned my face away because I
was afraid I might change my
mind at this last minute. I then
held her in my arms, walking from
the bedroom, through the sitting
room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly; it
was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made
me sad. On the last day, when I
held her in my arms I could hardly
move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said,
I hadn’t noticed that our life
lacked intimacy. I drove to office….
jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was
afraid any delay would make me
change my mind…I walked
upstairs. Jane opened the door
and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do
not want the divotrce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and
then touched my forehead. Do
you have afever? She said. I
moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce.
My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn’t
value the details of our lives, not
because we didn’t love each other
anymore. Now I realize that since
I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to
hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake
up. She gave me a loud slap and
then slammed the door and burst
into tears. I walked downstairs
and drove away. At the floral shop
on the way, I ordered a bouquet
of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to write
on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll
carry you out every morning until
death do us apart. That evening I
arrived home, flowers in my
hands, a smile on my face, I ran
up stairs, only to find my wife in
the bed -dead. My wife had been
fighting CANCER for months and I
was too busy with Jane to even
notice. She knew that she would
die soon and she wanted to save
me from whatever negative
reaction it would have on our son,
in case we pushed through with
the divorce. —At least, in the eyes
of our son—-I’m a loving
husband…. THE SMALL DETAILS OF
YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY
MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. "IT'S
NOT" the Mansion or House, the
Car, Property, the Money in the
bank. These create an
environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse’s friend
and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have
a real happy marriage! If you
don’t share this, nothing will
happen to you. If you do, you just
might save a marriage. Most of
life’s failures are people who did
not realize how close they were to
success when they gave up... YOU
DONT REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE
UNTIL ITS GONE!!

Happiest Couple In The World.

There was a young couple who led a very happy life together.The only thing that they worried about was, whether theirhappiness would last forever or would they too would haveto face problems.

One day, they heard that a wise old man had come to town;he could solve all kinds of problems and guide people. So thecouple decided to visit the wise old man and tell him theirsource of worry.


The wise old man told them; "Travel around the world and seeka man and a woman who are perfectly happy as a couple. Whenyou find such a couple, ask them for a piece of cloth from theman's shirt, then keep that piece of cloth with you, and youalways remain happy."

The young couple began their journey, to find the happiest couplein their world. In one place they heard that the governor and hiswife were the happiest people, so they went to their palace andasked them, "Are you the happiest couple?"

The governor and his wife replied, "Yes, we are happy in every wayexcept for one thing; we do not have any children."



Well that didn't make the governor and his wife the happiest couple.So they continued their journey. They arrived in one city where theyhad heard that the happiest couple lived. They went to their house
and asked them, "Are you the happiest couple?"

The couple replied, "Yes, we are really happy in every way except thatwe have too many children which make our life a bit uncomfortable."No, this couple did not sound to be the happiest. And, so they continuedtheir journey. They visited many countries, cities, towns and villagesasking the same question but they did not find what they were looking for.One Day the young couple came across a shepherd in the desert.



The shepherd was grazing his sheep when his wife and child came along.The shepherd greeted his wife and gently patted the child she was carrying.She laid the mat and started to eat contentedly. The young couple came to
them and asked them, "Are you the happiest couple?"

The shepherd and his wife replied, "Nobody is unhappier than the king."The young couple immediately realized that they were the happiest coupleand asked them for a piece of the shepherd's shirt, so that their happiness
too would last throughout.

The shepherd said, "If I give you a piece of cloth from my shirt then I willbe left without any clothes since I own just one shirt."


The young couple at once understood that it is very difficult to findperfect happiness anywhere in the world. The couple decided to returnto their own country. They went to the wise old man and related all that
had taken place. They also complained that his guidance was difficultto abide by.

The wise old man laughed and said, "Was your journey useless or did youlearn something from it?"

The young man replied, "Yes, after this trip I have learnt that in this world,nobody is perfectly happy, only that person is happy who does everything with out expectinganythingin return."


"And whosever follows god's guidance, on themshall be no fear nor shall they grieve".

The wife said, "I have learnt that in order to be happy it is importantto remember two things; first, all human beings should be thankful andcontented with whatever they have."

"And our Lord declared publicly: if you are grateful,
I will add more favors unto you".

"And secondly, for ultimate happiness one must always practice patience."

"Seek help through patient perseverance and prayers".

After that, young couple thanked the wise old man for his guidanceand returned home. The wise man prayed for them and said, "Indeedthe sign of happiness is in their heart and they have good manners andif the lifetime is spent in pleasure of ere would be no differences
in the existence of mankind."

"Whosoever follows god's guidance, will not loose
his way nor fall into misery. But whosoever turns away from his message,verily for him is a miserable life".

Characteristics of a Pious Wife.

A pious woman’s priority is to seek the pleasure of Allah. She tries acquiring the qualities of a good wife by following the examples of the Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) and obeying what is commanded in the Book of Allah. Complete obedience and adherence to the Sunnah of the Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) and Quran is the best of a woman’s qualities.
Examples: A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her fame, for her beauty and for her religion. So marry one for her religion and you will win. [Bukhari & Muslim]

Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and guard in their husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their honor, husbands property, etc) [4:34]

An-Nasaii narrated that the Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) was asked “Who are the best of women?” He replied, “The one who pleases him (her husband) if he looks at her, obeys him if he orders (her) and does not subject her honor or money to what he dislikes.”

Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, “If a woman prayed five prayers, fasted in Ramadan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its(eight) doors.”

Reflect on:
If a woman harms (in any way) her husband, then his wife in Paradise tells her: “Do not harm him, May Allah fight you, he is only staying temporarily with you. Soon he will come to us.” [Ahmad & At-Tirmithi]

If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses till he slept while angry, then the Angels will curse her till the morning. [Muslim]
Allah does not look to the woman who does not appreciate her husband while she cannot stand his departing her. [An-Nasaii].
A woman does not fast while her husband is present without his permission, except in Ramadan. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
Any woman who asks her husband for divorce for no reason will not smell the fragrance of Paradise. [Sahih Al-Jamii]

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, “If I were to order anyone to bow down to other than Allah, I would order the wife to do so for her husband. By the One who owns the soul of Muhammad,if a wife does not fulfill her obligations towards her husband, then she will not have fulfilled her obligations towards Allah.” [Ahmad]

55 ADVISE

1 Short separation (days) will strengthen the marriage but long separation can weaken the relationship.

• As they say ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.'



2 Understand each others fitrah (The fitrah is the natural disposition of a person e.g. Allah has created man and women with certain qualities that are innate in them).

• The hadith of Muhammad (saw) states that “Every person is born on a state of fitrah, it is their parents that change them to a Jew, Christian or Fire worshipper.” Both the husband and wife must realise not to challenge each others fitrah but can account each other by their fitrah.

• Hadith: Prophet Muhammad (saw) said to his daughter Fatima; ‘O Fatima , Allah has made Ali on a certain fitrah that you should know about.”



3 Try and solve disputes on the same day.

• Hadith: Prophet Muhammad (saw) said ; “Don't let disputes stay until the next day but solve it the same day.”

• Shaytan is always there to cause fitna for people especially between the husband and wife so its important not to let disputes last longer than a day otherwise small issues will seem very big.



4 Don't speak about your past!

• Islam forbids speaking about your jahilliyah (days of before practising Islam).



5 Stay away from idealism and live your lives naturally.

• Hadith: A couple came to Prophet (saw) and said ‘we make mistakes' and He (saw) said ‘you are not perfect'.

• Always evaluate the problem and don't pretend or expect miracles.



6 Convey your love and warm feelings to each other.

• Hadith: “You must express yourself to your partners”

• The wife of Muhammad (saw) said: “The Prophet (saw) never let a day pass without showing his affection.”



7 Fight against your own problems and don't share anger with your partner.



8 Do not be critical of each other.

• Hadith: Prophet (saw) said “Do not be critical”. All type of criticism is forbidden in Islam.

• Islam allows certain type of lying in order to maintain a good relationship e.g. complementing on the wife's cooking even if it doesn't taste nice!



9 When disputing with your partner don't expand the argument by adding all other previous disputes.

• Hadith: Prophet (saw) said “Dare any of you who sleeps with his wife in the night and then critises her in the morning.”



10 Never doubt your partner,

• Doubting each other can lead to the destruction of the marriage



11 Trust your partner and show you have full confidence in them.



12 Pick a suitable partner for yourself but also make sure that you are also compatible for your partner.

• Hadith: A man came to the Prophet Muhammad (saw) after seeing a woman for the purpose of marriage and said ‘She is of good Deen but her father refuses' He (saw) replied ‘did you look to yourself?' (This man never went for jihad or was see among the men of Medina ). The man replied ‘Ya Rasuallah, verily you have spoken the truth”.



13 The main pillar to maintain good relationship between the husband and wife is purity hence cleanliness of body and house etc is important.

• Once a woman complained to the Prophet (saw) about her husband's bad odour.

• Hadith: The Messenger Muhammed (saw) said “None of you who believe in Allah, spits and covers it.”



14 You need to sacrifice to maintain relationship.

• Hadith : The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Sacrifice is the best gift between the husband and wife.”



15 ADVISE FROM A SAHABIYAT TO HER DAUGHTER;

• “Care about your husband like you care about yourself and love for your partner what you love for yourself.”

• The Messenger Muhammad (saw) will never eat before his wives as mentioned in a hadith “ The best amongst you is the one who raises the food and feeds his wife.”



16 Give your partner gifts.

• Exchanging gifts will cause more inclinations towards each other and strengthen the relationship.



17 Don't be selfish!

• Give and take, don't always take.



18 Don't accuse your partner for problems e.g. by saying ‘You did it' or ‘it's your fault.'



19 Live for the day and don't worry about tomorrow.

• Allah knows whether or not you are going to wake up in the morning!



20 Always remember that marriage is a divine bond, so think twice before doing something on the impulse which you will regret later.

• Hadtih: The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Three things that are serious; marriage, divorce and freeing the slave.”



21 Although love is an essential part of marriage, do not take it for granted and abuse each other thinking that your partner will always love you regardless of ill treatment.



22 Be an example to your partner and let your actions tell and convey your personality.

• Hadith: Muhammad (saw) said; “To change your partner the way you wish, be the model for them.”

• Hadith: “Pray Qiyaam with your wife.”

• Hadith: Once Fatima (ra) the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) asked ‘How can I be closer to Ali (ra)?' He (saw) replied ‘Pray Qiyaam ul-Layl with him and whenever he wakes up, wake up with him.'



23 Do not let parents, relatives or neighbours interfere with your marriage.

• Try to reconcile between yourselves as much as you can and if that's not possible than allow a trustworthy Muslim to arbitrate.



24 Don't rush into correcting differences which you perceive in your partner. There are some matters that can only be changed with time.



25 The couple must both accept the consequences and responsibilities that marriage brings and be satisfied.



26 Do not embarrass or humiliate your partner especially in the presence of other people.



27 Participate in collective activities together.

• Co-operating with each other will bring a sense of family life e.g. Picnics, BBQ, dawah projects etc.

• The Prophet Muhammad used to do collective things with his wives.



28 Do not look down to your partner or ridicule their capability rather let your partner express themselves.

• Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw); “The good husband is the one when the speaks he listens and when she complains he is concerned.”



29 The financial right (Naafaqah) of the wife is something serious and her husband must fulfil it.



30 Do not share your sadness and misery with your partner rather exchange jokes and laughter.



31 Do not allow your friends to interfere in your marriage.

• Aisha (ra) the wife of Muhammad (saw) once said to the women of the Ansar “Watch out! Do not give room for your friends to interfere in your own privacy.”

• Part of a man's fitrah is that he has the right of authority in the family as the head of the household and also that no one should know about his affairs.



32 Let your husband feel that you are content with him and that you are proud of him.

• Hadith : Muhammad (saw) “Do not compare your husband with another man and don not compare your wife with another woman.”



33 During times of disputes remember the goodness of your partner.

• Hadith: Muhammad (saw) said; “The good deed abolishes the bad deed”



34 Abu Bakr (ra) said: “In order to understand the character and goodness of your partner, and to fight defection, remember;

• What you like about your partner?

• What happy experience has passed you two?

• What things you did together?”

• Umar bin Khattab (ra) said: “The good man is the one who makes his partner like him and appreciate him.”



35 Be careful not to use abusive words during times of disputes.



36 Have celebrations with the family.

• The Prophet Muhammad used to encourage his daughter Fatima (ra) and Ali (ra) to celebrate with their children.



37 The intelligent wife is the one who asks her husband for things at the right time e.g. don't ask for a expensive dress if you know he can't afford it!



38 Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said ; “Three things that should not be used My dignity, My status, My pride.”



39 Do not abolish the presence of your partner. Always have consult your partner, even if it's for small issues like grocery shopping.



40 Do not run away from home!

• If you want to discipline the wife for doing something sinful then separate from the bed but don't leave home.

• Hadith: The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Don't run away from home”



41 Do not anger your husband by asking too many unnecessary questions and vice versa.



42 Do not desert the husband at home.

• Umar bin Khattab disciplined a woman for that and said to her; ‘Are you a woman or a man?'



43 Do not exchange roles!

• Allah (swt) has clearly defined the rights and responsibilities of the husband and wife hence it is not proper for us to swap them. A woman must remember even if she is working, her husband, children and home would always come first.



44 Respect the In-laws.



45 Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “Honour your mother in-law and call her by the best names (according to the tradition).”



46 Don't let the neighbour interfere.

• Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “Look after your neighbours and participate with them in happiness and sadness and always command them to obey Allah.”

• Disclosing family secrets is not participating in sadness!



47 Be careful not to have disputes frequently, it will jeopardise the relationship.

• Learn to sacrifice in issues of permissibility in order to maintain tranquillity.



48 Always establish quietness, calmness and tranquillity in the home.



49 Do not interfere with your partner when they are disciplining the children except in an emergency where your partner is violating the shari'ah.



50 Look after your children and maintain a high standard of upbringing e.g. clothing, feeding etc.



51 Listen to your husband and try not to forget to do things for which he has asked you to do.

• Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said ; “Teach your wife the chapter of An-Nisa, Al-Maida, An-Nur (from the Qu'ran).”



52 Shari'ah must be the centre of your lives and obedience to your husband is one of the means to Jannah.



53 Remember that Allah will always test you and there will be times that you may have domestic problems but remember every problem doesn't mean the end!



54 Avoid arguing with each other especially in front of children.



55 The wife should not allow anyone to enter her home without the permission of her husband.